Marmite is surely the No.1 candidate with its Marmite Love Party’s ‘Spread the Love’ campaign. Their aim? To make every man, woman and child in the world into a Marmite lover – even though they may not know it yet. Many are just ignorant of Marmite’s many qualities, such as how good it tastes and how it’s full of B vitamins. Many believe instead the vicious lies told about it by the Hate Party.
The first priority therefore of the Love Party is one of education. Once the wonderful truth about Marmite is known throughout the world, there will be no more fear or hatred. Only love.
(Thanks to Chris in Edinburgh.)
The Marmite Manifesto:
1. To accord ministerial powers to everyday Marmite lovers so they can help spread the message.
2. To develop new ways for Marmite to help tackle society’s issues.
3. To set up anger management courses for Marmite haters.
4. To criminalise all acts of face-pulling towards the Marmite-loving community.
5. Upon victory, to build a Marmite shrine for lovers across the world to congregate and worship.